torn in two worlds!!!

she stood silent..  numb and lonely.. she pushed herself far from the crowd.. the ignorant crowd.. the soul less  people.. she always thought she'd fit in with them.. but they were too heartless to see her purity... her caring thoughts.. her selfless deeds..
               from the start she knew she was far too matured then her mates.. they all were too clingy to life's mess and she could always move on.. they used to curse if they were hurt and she used to pray for them .. her friends sorted for revenge and she forgiveness...
               she stood there confused... figuring out what was wrong... her good side or this world.. cause no matter how much she tried.. she ended up hurt and betrayed... it was the one of those defining moments.. where she didn't know where she belonged...to the ruthless people in whom she always tried to see the good or the world of saints who always told her to do what's right...
               she trusted cause she thought everyone needs to get a chance to show who they are.. she believed because she thought that way she could get hold of good people.. but in the quest of finding the good she lost herself to the turmoil of the right and wrong... the good and bad... she lost the power to believe.
            she looked at the hustle and bustle of the cars down street,people chatting  their way home.. and then she looked at the stars up.. calm and serene...  blinking for her as if she owned them... she felt the void... she felt divided into two worlds.. down there her existence seemed so worthless.. up here she waited to embrace her doubts cause she knew she could see beyond what existed... the truth beyond lies... the reasons behind life's every defining moments... she knew she had to wait to get the answers of life.. there was more to what she already knew... but it wasn't the time yet.. she wasn't ready.. the quest wasn't over...
           when she looked into herself her pain eased, her hurts healed... she had read a lot about spirituality.. but she wasn't sure whether what she was experiencing now was a part of it.. cut off from the noise she was at peace with everything.. what she felt seemed ecstatic.. a state of trance where emotions mattered less... the journey mattered more...
           she knew she was different.. born as a human but with an ability to seek good... for the people and for self.... yet the void was not completely gone.. and she still had her doubts... she still had to go back to the real world where she wasn't sure she belonged.. in a way she neither belonged to the common people nor the saints.. but someday,sooner or later she will have to take a decision.. she will have to make a choice between the two... the common people or the enlightened souls.... neither of which promises an easier journey.