How I am what I am?

I sit at peace,
Happy and content.

With less to worry
and less to stress.
Not very often I be this calm.
Not very often I feel this serene.
And yet my heart has a zillion questions
as to 'How I am what I am?

I see my past
torturous and painful.
And I look at the people I left behind.

How is it that I don't feel what I felt then?
How is it that I have learnt not to give a damn?
How is it that I care so less?
How did I get out of the fanatical mess?

I only say 'Hi' to once whom I said 'I love you'
I unfriended  my one time best friend.
I stopped keeping a tab about their existence
and I have mastered the art to care less.

How did once so important are

now put on 'Move on' list,
My mistakes or theirs;
How did I learn to be okay?
I think...
Now I think..
What if they deserved another chance?
What if I had not been in such a hurry?

But then I think of their sharp words,
I think of their bitter deeds.
I think of their cold replies
and their other oh so essential needs.

My mistakes or theirs;
I seek for closure. 

To leave what is left of what it was.

To unburden the guilt of what was not to be.
They deserved polite goodbyes

to make myself come at peace.

And here I am with all the answers

to 'How I am what I am?