Existence

Nothing  existed today
and everything existed all at once.
The deafening silence of the sea
questioned the noise in my life.
The hustle seemed of no value
when you stare at this vastness.
Who am I? What am I?
A minute from everything I spared,
and no answers came.
The waves so calm and calling
a thought comes,
Should I just surrender?

The clear starry sky
Never had I known so much peace.
Never knew the world could exist
this way.
The nothingness was like existence
and existence seemed nothing.
I was sad, sad that it took 28 years to realise
life could just be nothing
and nothing would be okay.
But I know this feeling would
just last for this moment,
and tomorrow existence will come in play
and nothingness will be gone
hoping to be found again..........

Random thoughts

The teary past now seems worthwhile.
Taught me to hold on tight to what makes you feel right.
To hold on to someone who doesn't want to let you go... Ever...

Random thoughts

For the first time in a very long time I feel safe.
So this is how it feels to know someone is always going to be there forever.
This is how it feels to be content at last.

Random thoughts

You are for me what he never was.

Random thoughts

I saw him 'your lookalike'.
Years later I still skipped a beat.

Random thoughts

I am scared of closing my eyes..
To wake up and realise
I am where I am not suppose to be.

The monsoon ...!!!

So distant and I can yet hear you whisper
I can feel you smile
And I can see your touch. 
The monsoon, oh! The monsoon
Makes me loose my normal.
And I drift to what I call a phase
'I am happy and yet not content'.
The rains remind the incomplete.
All I remember are the things
I couldn't have.

So now I call you a 'thing'.
Like the cold air my heart has gone
Cold for you.
And yet I know what you would have felt
If now you were here.
That's the thing about the monsoon,
About the lightening,
About the thunder,
It mimics what you feel inside.

Tell me your story...!!!

So tell me
What bothers you the most?
What sinks your heart to bottom
And what lifts it up high?
What situation makes you loose your confidence?
Or what makes you so strong willed at times?
What do you think of in your lost times?
And what silently gets tears in your eyes?
What are you terrified about
Or what lifts up your crappy mood?

How you get your inner strength?
How you get up every day and face the monsters?
How you keep so much compassion for the less?
How you listen patiently to all around you?

Whom do you love the most?
Whom do you respect the most?
Whom do you hate and
Whom do you wanna forget?

Why are you doing what you are doing?
Why are you not backing down?
Why did you give up on certain people?
Why you held on to most extremists situations?

So Tell me your story
Answer the questions no one dared to ask you
Let me know you from your solace
To your discomfort.
Give me a tour of all your emotions.
Give me yourself
And let me hug your beautiful soul...!!!

What I think of you...!!!!

He asked 'Do you think of me?'

Once a while
I do think how are you?
Probably pick up the phone to call you.
Then I remind myself,
It has taken me a lifetime to give up on you,
It has cost me everything to undo the love.
I have taken overmuch efforts
to get you out of my system.
And yes I resent you.
And yes I openly hate you.
So I give up that thought
And remind myself you are not worth it.
You are not worthy of a single thought.
You are not worthy of a single tear.
You are just not worth at all.
And yes I pity the one who will be with you next.
Cause I have known you the closest.
And knowing you in and out I know
how destructive you can be to someone.
I know what a coward, commitment less person you are.
And to what extent of a jerk you can be.
So yes I do think of you my dear
But never for the good times we had.
I will and always remember you in
words with no love.
In words so bitter and ruthless.
Cause you are not capable dear.
You are not capable of love.
And you can not make a home.
All you can do is destroy it for someone....

Closure...

She cried and cried that night. Nothing could stop her soul from falling apart. 'I slapped him hard' she said. 'I slapped him hard' she kept repeating. 'For everything he put me through.'
             And I thought how lucky is she to get to do that. How lucky is she to find a little closure.

His Regrets.. !!!!

"I miss you" he said. "Anywhere I go, all places remind me of you. Even when I am with her. I compare and I know in so many ways you were right for me. I cannot connect the way I connected with you. She is good but then she is not you. Somehow you made everything feel right . And now I feel empty. It's like I have all I want and I keep missing something. I keep chasing you in my thoughts. I keep chasing you in her. I miss you so much. What happened to us?"
"You left first" she said.

To My Future Me....!!!

To my future me,

I hope you stand for yourself just as I have taught you now. Be the person you always wanted to be. Be strong, Be compassionate. Don't give up on your dreams. Don't give into your fears. Don't hold on to the people who didn't believe in you.  Let go of the people who didn't choose you. Be successful but don't choose money over love. Don't take the easy way out. Fight your way. You have done it before, you are doing it now and in future if circumstances arise fight then too.
               Hey future me, I love you, no matter how stubborn you act, no matter how lazy you be at times, how emotionless you show yourself to be. Don't wait for anyone to complete you. Go out, drink wine, watch movies and take a break time to time. Be with the guy who sees the light inside of you. Kiss him goodnight every single night. Never forget to tell him how much you love him and that how much good he has got in your life.
              I hope you laugh your heart out. I hope you travel places, feel the green wind and beautiful blue waters.  I hope you dance around your living room to your favorite song and call up your friend to catch up. I hope you take a stroll out on rainy days just to smell the rain. Wear the kind of  dress you want and go to a party.I hope amidst all your busy schedule you always find time for your small family. I hope you return home to your kids everyday and ask them how was your day.
              Be happy dear. Let only a few people's opinion matter rather than the entire world's. Find these people and keep them safe. Be good. Make a difference. Always give a helping hand to the ones who need it. Don't give up on people. Don't give up on your faith and never leave hope. I wish  you get over your pain and forgive your mistakes. Share your burden my dear. And ever you feel you are getting lost come back to read this letter.
              Hey future me, be that person with whom I will fall in love a million times.
   

To My Valentine....

"You are my Valentine,
And you will always be."
Yes I have said this,
Well and the truth is
I have heard this before..
I have felt being ripped off and
I have been sore.....
So I don't need you to promise
love,
I need you to just be there...
I need not your gifts... I need your
heart...
I want you to be present with me
From an end to a start.....

So this Valentine's don't,
Don't gift me or surprise me....
This Valentine's just feel the love
and my presence.
Feel my dreams and make them yours..
Love me for my mistakes..
Love me for my self...
Love me to not show off to the
world....
Love me because you cannot find a
reason not to.....