"yeah!! a long distance relationship"

"yeah, a long distance relationship" she said angrily "and why is it so hard for all of you  to accept. i am happy in one. why is it bothering you so much?" her eyes wide. she was tired of  confronting and explaining it to every one. he on the other hand was not expecting such a harsh emotion. the pleasant friendly conversation had suddenly turned into a rebel.

                it wasn't the first time eyebrows were raised when she mentioned she was in a long distance relationship. the classic typical look of surprise on every ones faces. at first she loved the way they reacted,made her feel different from the usual dating crowd but now somehow it had started getting annoying.

               "no tell me, she scowled at her friend "what's the big deal in it?". he had his doubts ready and clear. he started "well,they never last anyways. you people are miles apart, there's no romance,not many mushy moments. you cant hold hands when you want to neither can you see each other every day. you keep waiting for his return. i mean ain't that exclusively so cliché and boring". 

                she listened to all he had to say patiently,smiled and said "yeah its cliche,yeah its boring. but when i am getting down the bus and see him waiting there anxiously staring at the door just to see me step down,the smile his face owns when our eyes meet after months of waiting. priceless!! you think he would be that excited if i would meet him every other day. and for the romance its not always about the physical relationship my dear. he knows and understands when i say i miss him or when he says he misses me. its not made up.we actually do. i know he means the good night kisses when he gives me one cause he doesn't get to place it on my lips every night. the romance my dear is when he will find every opportunity to catch my hand when he is walking with me.its not every day he gets to let me know he is always there for me. we wait for our moments together cause when we are miles apart they are all we have. we do have our mushy moments,though few, they stay longer in our memories."

                she looked at her friend thought she convinced him enough but it wasn't so easy to pacify him. his doubts continued, " okay say in other scenario what if he eventually met someone at his place and realize its not working for you two.he might two time you.he might cheat on you. how do you even trust what he says when there is a whole possibility he might be lying."

                 somehow she knew that would come up. faith is always an issue and she had her answer ready "trust, that's the best part of long distance relationships. you just cant question loyalties here. its all blind faith. well if he had to cheat,two time me do you think he would waste his energy,time just for a phone call from me,got upset in case i forgot to buzz him "i am awake,good morning"  we trust each other no matter what because we have no other choice. and that's good. i don't go scrolling his contact lists,inbox every other day or even when we meet.we don't have time for foolish stuff like that. we don't be pain in the ass for each other cause we don't nag each other 24*7. we enjoy our own space, our privacy.and about meeting someone else.. that's a part of destiny we can't control. believe me a guy would never go through the pain of long distance relationship for years unless he was really serious about you. what more you want than the surety that the relationship means something.".                                                                                                                                                   
                 he drew himself into silence.she on the other hand was smiling to herself cause somehow she had unknowingly explained herself how lucky she was.. she no longer cared what her friend was thinking, or if she convinced him .. it was just enough for her that she was happy in a long distance relationship!!

keep faith !!

I know you are worried....

i know you have doubts....

But just hold my hand....

and let life sort it out....

we have memories to make....

and risks to take........

I never said everything will be easy....

but it wont always be difficult....

Just look into my eyes.. 

I assure you our luv is enough to make everything alright.... 

Just keep faith....

we have just one life.......

we cant forever wait...........

Goodbye!!

 Standing there staring at his name she thought of all the good times. He made her laugh to the extent that she would flip out of her chair. He loved her hair. The way he played it with his soft fingers,tugging them away every time it covered her face. His light brown mesmerizing eyes that would cast a love spell impossible to resist. He was so perfect, attentive to her every move, always reading her mind, knowing her thoughts as they came. He had the perfect smile to get her back from her grumpy grievous side..
                        It's the way he planned those perfect moments and anniversaries, giving her stories to make her female friends envious. And so secretly proud was she of that. He was her life, her comfort, her soul.
                         She stood there staring at his grave. Hoping he would somehow hug her from behind and say it was just a joke. He had played such a prank before  and he knew how much it had hurt her. Yet like a fool she turned around to see if he would be standing there, pointing and laughing at her.
                        The reason for her visit this time was different. Not that she stopped missing him or something but this time she was angry at him. She had stormed out of her house, drove all the way just to tell him that she was angry. He had made her life too easy,happy and perfect. He had loved her too much and now she was forced to live without it. His perfect love didn't allow her to move on, didn't allow her to feel and fall in love again. Cause every time she tried she landed up comparing those amateurs to his love and their love seemed so naive. Time and again this would happen and that she was tired of the loneliness
                     She shouted, cried, explained. She spoke her mind. She spoke her heart. Tired of life, tired of missing him; she wept on his grave....
                     After a while, after all the complaints and hate, the storm in her receded. Suddenly she felt the guilt. She felt as if she betrayed him complaining his love was too perfect. How could she be so selfish? She had turned his perfect love into a tool for her anger, an excuse to try and get back at him so she could get on with her life..
                      She stood there staring at his name. Hoping that he would be listening, her eyes wet asking for forgiveness. The anger all gone but her soul wrapped in guilt, she felt horrible. It was time she knew to say her last goodbye. She always feared the moment, the fact that she would never have the guts to do it. But she had to learn to let go. Not giving into the guilt she kissed his grave, smiled at him and said goodbye.
                     She stood there for a moment embracing the grief one last time. Gave him the last look of love hoping he would forgive her and that he would be at peace. She turned her back and slowly walked away from the only man she loved. The man who taught her perfect love.  

a moment of appreciation!!

yes!! i know we had our bad patch.. but we did have our happy stories.. it doesn't matter to me whether we drifted apart, hurt each other or turned our back when one of us needed to hold on.. we have been there for each other a number of times.. and that's what i am proud of...
                  i am proud that we could work out on our differences, i am proud that despite many of our senseless behaviour we had the courage to confront them, we had the courage to say sorry.. to realize no matter what life had destined we didn't turn out to be those people who cursed each other forever..
                 i am just happy that i made the right choices in life.. i made a right choice being with you...          
                 making  relations work is a part of life.. sometimes they just don't.. i cant justify why..we all have our own reasons... being with you taught me a lot.. not being with you taught me the most.. i don't regret fate.. it was never ours... but am glad we accepted what came and moved on..
                 its nice to know the care,the concern still exists... that we can still laugh at each others mistakes... its nice to know it wasn't just a fluke.. that i can still count on you... that we can still be friends..
                 it was a great journey... indeed.. a roller coaster ride... thrilling and nerve breaking... even though it has ended it has left us with a smile...

it won't work

"No,it won't work" he said."Our families have nothing in common and i personally don't think us getting married is a good idea." 
                  she stood there silent and still. marriage was not even on her list. not yet. all she wanted was to make this work but every time he would come up with ideas to blow her out. she was tired of holding on.she was tired of thinking one day he will notice what he meant for her.
                 "okay,but it was you who had said few years back that everything will be fine,that we will work it out with our parents. you had promised me you will see to it" she was almost on the verge of tears. her eyes holding on to the big pearly drops as if they were precious. she didn't want to seem weak and ugly. he hated when she cried.
                 "i am sorry" he said. "things were different then. i was too young and i didn't think this through." there was no hint of hurt in his eyes. he seemed so stable. he spoke as if it wasn't his fault.
                 she stood quiet cause she knew she was far away from convincing him. may be this time she didn't want to convince him. far long back his proposal seemed like a cinderella story. she was  the lady in gown, the lucky one to see him bow down to his knees to tell her he loved her. he even promised her happily ever after. so much for that she laughed in her head.now  here he is saying "it won't work".
                 "goodbye then"she said. and those stupid drops had to trickle down her cheeks. she waited so that he could hold her close and wipe them one last time.but he didn't.he stood there watching her. she looked into his eyes trying to find that one look of sadness. but he seemed normal and that ached her heart. was she the only one in pain. it couldn't hurt more.
                 she left. didn't look back. she hated herself for making a wrong choice. anything works if you want it to work  she thought. but the damage was done.
                 then suddenly her phone beeped. a text message from him " turn around idiot. did you really think i was gonna let you go"

a conversation: 2

he: "my mom was saying you are a good girl. She really likes you."
she: "ofcourse, she will cause i am !!"
he: "hahaha.. Someone should ask me that. I cover you up a lot in front of people. Make you look good!!"
she: what!
he: "yeah! ask me the real you."
she: "you never find anything good in me. you always have to look for my mistakes."
he: yes!! always!! who else will??

a conversation

he: "hey,i miss you"....
she: "huh,now that's a surprise.since when did you start missing me"
he(dissapointed): "this is the reason i never tell that i do. you just never believe it,do you?"
she(chuckles): "there,there my sweetheart.calm down.sometimes its just nice to know the reason."
he: there isn't any.. i just miss you.

damsel in distress

         she was a shy damsel in distress.. distress cause she was alone in the world of couples..no real friends to count on.. no close encounters with true love..the word was apt... her state made her vulnerable to any pleasant comment  that came her way.. cause it was only the thing that got a smile on her face... she wanted to commit..to open up her bottled self..to puke her thoughts to any guy who randomly seemed interested... all she wanted was to hopelessly fall in love.
                love is a strange place to be in...at one moment it seems the world and at the next hell.. she never knew what kind of man she wanted... tall,dark,handsome or smarty pants... it was just so difficult to find the perfect breed...that one person who would just fit in.. ultimately she had stopped expecting..or rather she had convinced herself they were extinct... secretly she was protecting herself..cause she knew her heart was too easy to break...
                fate has its own irony..it strikes when you least expect it too... she stumbled upon a man.. yes tall,dark and handsome...yes smarty pants... her heart tickled her way cause he seemed to like her...
        mystique in a way he complemented her... he knew her needs..he knew her inside.. she was an open book..and his seemed tightly covered... she opened up like a bottle of champagne...one pop it and all came gushing out...he enjoyed every side of hers... she was indeed special... 
                 again love is a strange place to be in.. at one moment you feel on the top of the world and at the next you are thrown on the bridge of reality.... she tried to take his silence to be a good listener.. but now she had nothing to say.. she was waiting for him to talk.. he said there was none.. his mind seemed like box with a lock but no key... she tried hard to let herself in his world.. but he was too adamant.. too self contained...   there was something about him... his aura... something she never understood... his dark brown eyes shadowed his inside... she always felt herself at the surface..  the more she got closer to him,the farther he seemed....
                he left her saying he wasn't ready... she thought which men are... she payed the price for wearing her heart on her sleeves... she gulped up her glass of wine.. poured some more and toasted herself  cause at least for now she knows which 'one' kind of  breed she doesn't match"..