In my dream

I had forgotten how I felt when I was near you.
But last night's dream reminded me of it.
Subconsciously I still miss you.
And so do you.
Or else why would you back hug me in my dream
And stare at me for hours.
I felt the rush.
I felt what I had forgotten.
I felt my heart give away a millionth time.
I saw you, you saw me.
May be we fight subconsciously to
Remember what we treasured the most.
I get to fall in love with you
Again and again
Even if it is just in my dream.

Upset

In the midst of chaos,
You are like an unwanted shower.
Drowning me in my own struggle.
The one I am not even sure
why am I having?
Not even sure who am I
Fighting with?
You are like that dark cloud.
Me silently waiting for it to turn into a storm.
But you just shed Grey.
Neither is there a lightening
Nor a thunder.
Disappointing as always.
I am not even sure with whom am I upset?
Is it You for letting me down?
Or me for letting you do it?

Are you happy

'Are you happy now?' He asked.
They saw each other after ages. Both overwhelmed with sadness yet not letting go of their ego. They had to show how perfectly fine they were in their ongoing lives. Yet seeing each other after so long made them weary. She looked beautiful as usual. Her popped up cheeks and a big smile. His silky hair and fair skin. They scanned each other to notice what changed in so many years. Few moments passed but it seemed forever; a contrast to their past where hours seemed like minutes. After a long awkward silence he asked again 'Are you happy?'

She thought hard on this question. Was she happy? This word happiness seemed so fickle. Her life was okay. The storms had quitened, her job was stable,she had a loving partner. But was she happy? She looked at him again. His charms still sending a shiver down her spine. She had missed him for a long time. That's what she wanted to say. 'I missed you. I missed this feeling of always being on my toes. Getting carried away and helplessly being captured by you every single day. Falling hard everytime knowing I'd ruin myself after you. Being hopelessly in love. I miss feeling this way' her thoughts screamed.

He asked for the third time 'Are you happy?' She smiled 'Yes, seeing you today like this unexpectedly. It made me happy'. That was not what he wanted to know. He craved for her long and hard. Not a day had passed initially where she didn't cross his mind. Her long brown tinged hair, rough long hands, her dangling earrings. He was seeing all of this after years and it just seemed so wrong standing there not holding her in his arms.

Panicking that their hidden truth will surface and show on their faces, they said their goodbyes. They walked fast not turning back afraid their old love will get into their present and ruin everything they had worked so hard for. They had indeed toiled every minute of every single day to keep themselves under check, restraining themselves from confessing how miserable they actually were. Years of locking up their insanity and behaving like adults is what they had promised themselves. So they ran again to a place they found themselves alone. She hid behind a wall and he hid behind a tree, gasping and panting and cursing. He cried that day for a long time. She had accepted this fact long back there was no getting over him this lifetime. So she let herself be. She stood silent staring at the dark sky, cause thats how she felt since the day they gave up on each other. Numb.