My Encouragement!!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Two States - Same State!

She walked into her room with words running her mind, desperate to pen them down she opened her heart and mind once again after a long gap of wordless living. A lot had happened over past few months. As busy as she was she had to give her mind its way to peace. She had to write.
             A day before she had been to this movie 2 States with her friends. If two people so different from different states could give a meaning to their relationship than why couldn't she and him from the same state, so alike couldn't? She remembered telling him we are suppose to watch this movie together to realize there was no together later. May be a part of her always knew he was going behave the same, no matter how many chances you give someone to correct their mistakes they are going to hurt you someday. A year back he broke it off saying he needed time, he needed to set his life straight. So she let him go. She was almost over him when he knocked on her door again begging her to give him a second chance and she did. Well! Her friends weren't happy. Obviously they wouldn't be. They had seen her suffer day and nights long and they didn't know why was she throwing herself in the painful pit yet another time. She had her reasons. In life may be you need to commit the same mistake again to make yourself believe that it was a mistake the first time.  She had to know if he could make this work for them. That she had made a right choice before choosing him as the one. May be after all the disappointments he could change her mind about him for once. May be later she didn't wanna regret or think 'What If she had given him a second chance?'

                   She still remembered the day he stood in front of her after eight long months. God! she had missed him so much. She gave a ear his side of story, his explanations and his tears. She heard all of it even the things he did not say. For a brief moment of time she relived those old memories which were suppressed in anger and hatred. She felt happy again, the feeling of belonging to someone, the feeling of telling someone how the day went, the feeling very close to love. She knew this was gonna end soon for she knew him. And yet again very true to her expectations he deceived her one more time. The same lame excuses were told, the same family issues shared. The only thing different this time was she held herself strong and it was she who broke it off now. She had to get out of this constant torture not knowing where her life was headed. She had to get out of his fake persona of him trying to figure out a way for them cause she could see there was no good future with him .That he is going to be a looser, he is going to be that person who can never take a stand and she didn't want to spend her life with some one so incapable of fighting for her. She deserved a lot better. May be in life for once you need to give your past another chance just to see if it could change your future and if it doesn't, you are happy you to know the past doesn't stand a chance in your future.
                   There are times when she misses him a lot, times when her eyes roll down a tear in his love. There is a part of her that always will be his. But sadly his bad luck its just 'a part' of her heart that will be his.