best friend's wedding!!

She stood there smiling in her glittering maroon wedding dress. Her eyes sparkled. Those big dangling ear rings,the bangles,the mascara. She never looked so beautiful. Her hair tied,curled upwards,golden shining sandals,the nervous happy look. He had never seen her like this. He stood there in wonder gaze. His eyes couldn't help but capture every little move of her. She was breathtaking.
                 The groom had not arrived yet. He moved towards her and said with a smug look on face " You might be the only lady on this planet who gets ready before time". She smiled and replied "Yeah.You know i hate screw ups.Last night i had a dream i was late and people were waiting for me furiously. Pandit calling my name a hundred times. Now i didn't want that to come true". He laughed "You and your weird dreams!!! Gonna miss listening to them every morning". She looked at him with a dazzled look "Dude,what did you just say.Chill!! it's not that i won't be in touch. You are my best friend".
                  He nodded with a smile. Deep inside he knew nothing was gonna be the same. Marriage never keeps friendship's the same. She won't buzz him ten times a day nor give him her life's details. She won't talk hours of crap on phone as she always did which at times he never listened to anyways but she was his comfort zone and somehow he was not comfortable seeing her go. He knew he would loose her in time but it wasn't sinking in that the moment was now. He felt a huge lump in his throat; that his thoughts choked him and opened his eyes to the situation he ignored all along.
                  She was his only best friend,immature yes but she made him laugh. She poked him "Sweets, you didn't tell how i look?". 'For a change beautiful" he said. She gave him an annoying look "Its my wedding day, try and be nice".
                   The groom arrived and she left the room tugging her hair behind,making sure she looked perfect. He stood there in the audience,watching her do all the rituals. All he thought was he was gonna miss her to world's end; his best friend. He gazed at her in astonishment. Never had he seen her this way.  Never had he realized he depended on her in so many ways. Never had he thought he would be jealous of the man standing next to her. He wanted to leave yet he stood there watching her, not knowing exactly what he was loosing!!!             

one last meet,should i invite him??

she was happy in her new life.. away from their fights,worries,constant nagging... everything was working fine.. well planned.. smooth.... yet she thought of him... 'its the past' she convinced herself.. yet her mind often wandered the good he  had once got in her life..
                they didn't speak often... after years of blaming,tears and depression they were even with each other.. somehow they had managed to come to point where they could say hi without feeling sad...
               she made herself go through the rough times she had been through because of him.... she reminded herself how miserable he had made her life back then.. the time she spent getting over the sour words he said.. still after all these years her mind was filled with questions... why couldn't she throw him off her mind?... why her heart gave a slight kick whenever he said hi?....

        

                   'one last meet,should i invite him' she thought.... but she always knew it was a terrible idea... the more tempted she got to do so.. the more she convinced herself not to... the conflict was getting harder within her.... how bad can it be.. its just to catch up on things.. what if i again fall for him.. what if he asks for one more chance.. what do i do then.. do i wanna go back.. what if he hasn't changed.. what if she was only the one thinking all this and he is busy with someone else.. will he know deep down i still think about him.. that his dreams still haunt me.. that i wanna see him one last time...
                 she wanted to know everything... she wanted to know if he had changed.. she wanted to know what if they could get back together and work their past mistakes...that she could live those few good moments again... to feel what they once felt for each other one last time... she knew somewhere even he thought the same...  but it was too late... too late to confront.. too late to express.. too late to walk into the hands of  the past.. which either way didn't end well... there was no time now... to repeat those same mistakes... it was just too risky...
                 she gathered herself up... she shushed her heart...erased the 'can we meet' she had typed on her message window.. convinced herself 'it was a terrible idea'.. until next time when a heart would flip again a moment for him!!!
                  
        

Don't you ever give up on me!!

I yell, shout; blame all bad on you
You stay calm and say 'Darling,those words..Aren't really you'

I mess up things, and spoil the present
You stay calm and say 'Baby chill, its just a bad day, things happens'

I cry,get upset for reason no good
You stay calm and say 'Honey tears spoil your face, get your smile back on soon'

At times i give up on us and walk away
But you be there still holding on,no matter what i say.

So even when things go wrong as horribly as they could
I do know in my heart,we can still make it through.

You have tolerated me with my moods and temper
You have taken me in your arms when i pushed you farther

You have been there listening patiently to every word i say
You have been there when i had expected you to leave and never stay

Don't you ever give up on me,don't you ever loose faith
No matter how dumb i could be to leave,hang in there and wait..

Honey you are the best thing that could happen to me
Cause you taught me to love, no matter what the consequences..

Honey, i don't know how to thank you cause words aren't just enough
I can't explain how much stability to my crazy life you have brought..

Just know that i will always,always love you with all my heart
Just believe in me,like you always have from the start!!

A Rose!!

                   Why a rose? Just like the twisted petals of a rose,love has its own twists. It tells a story,your story. May be because it reminds you of 'love' at the very moment.  Something someone you had,someone you want to have. It reminds you how you were first introduced to 'love'.
                       A rose always has a memory with it. The first proposal.,first date,college rose day,the innocent love you once believed to be true because he gifted you one every time you met and nothing can symbolize love more than a rose.A red rose.Red for passion,the irresistible desire to be with each other always,the promises promised for a forever.
                   
                   A rose stays forever just like love does. You will either get one for rest of your life or it will stay in those closed pages of your dairy like the closed chapters of your lost love locked up forever in your heart.
But the most painful part about it is,the moment you see a rose it reminds you not who truly loves you now but it reminds you of whom you truly loved once.

the blame game!!

Loving words will fall on page

when my heart feels your smile is true..

sad words will fill the lines

when it knows your smile is fake..

I can so well read your eyes..

i can so well know whats going on in your mind..

So if words don't come from me..

Tell me whose heart is to be blamed..

दिल के हर दर्द पार मरहम नही होता..

दिल के हर दर्द पार मरहम नही होता..

एक बार किया तो प्यार दोबारा नही होता..

आंखो में छुपी है तनहाई दूर तक..

काश दिल ने प्यार करना जाना नही होता..

इंतेझार में नझारे तो बिछायी थी हमने..

हर पल आपको पाने कि इल्तीजा तो कि थी हमने..

तो क्या अगर किसी और ने आपको पा लिया..

सांसे नाही रुकी जो आपकी याद में जलायी हमने..

सेहमिसी राहो पर काटो को चुना..

बहारो कि छाव में पतझड को गले लागाया..

छुपाया है हर एक से दर्द ये प्यार का..

काश तुम कभी समझ पाते हाल-ए-दिल का..

अरमान इतने क्यो ऐसे सजाये..

सपनो कि तरह वो भी छूट गये..

रोये ऐसे ये एक एक बिखरे जब..

चाह कर भी उन्हे फिर समेट ना पाये..

जगाये क्यो ये एहसास, जवाब दो..

थम  जाये ये तुफान कैसे, सलाह तो दो..

अकेले जीना मुश्कील नही है यहा
पर दो कदम साथ चलने के लिये कोई साथ तो दो..!!!!

A Forced 'Hi'

silent is the world
when you look for words..........

joy is in the sorrow
when the scar is of love....

life is gifted first with tears
smile is there,but deep are fears...

a time comes when
there is nothing to do
someone walks with silent steps
creeping through those healing wounds

every step ahead makes
the world more sad
with every tear you try and hide
your existence so faded seems more black

eyes learn to speak
even when emotions die......
and you are forced to greet
when you really want to say 'goodbye'....

a conversation: 3

she: am damn angry on you!!
he: now what did i do???
she: you never give me flowers,choclates,
       cards, no giant teddy, no candle light dinner.. nothing!!
       do you even love me??
he: hmmm.. okay, whats the first thing i do when i get up?/
she: call me!!
he: okay.. who almost calls up first when we have a fight??
she: you!!
he: okay.. who comes to pick you up or leave you when you go out of town??
she: you!!
he: hmm. have i ever slept without saying good night to you??
she: no!!
he: don't i cancel meeting my friends if you get time to meet,last minute??
she: you do!!
he: whose mom knows we are very good friends??
she: yours!!
he: have i ever hung up or not consoled when you are in a super cry mode??
she: no!!
he: do i put restrictions on you?? what to wear,whom to meet???
she: no!!
(a long pause)
she: i get it... you love me a lot more :)
he: and yet i have to explain every time!!!
she: no!! the thing is its just nice to hear the reasons every time!!!

forever in love with you!!!

if life meant eternity
i would hold on to you forever.....
no matter how and where it got us
i would stand by you forever.....

if life meant unbound joy
i would smile for you forever..
the ups don't matter nor the downs
i would take your tears forever....

if life meant hope
i would believe in you forever.....
let your dreams be however silly
i would trust them with you forever......

when you said you loved me
you promised a forever....
and i was scared cause i thought
to last that long; it mite never....

but you kept your love...
you kept your promises...
and you gave me my own fairy tale...
if i can love the slightest like you ever..
i'd love to love you forever.....

if time had no beginning
and time had no end...
and if infinity be insanely true..
i promise to walk down the endless,
'forever' just to be with you....

you taught me to love!!

in a thousand years today
i am short of words..
for they cant speak the
storm you bring in my world...

love  knows no boundaries
since you unleashed them all....
for you pushed me into a void
with no rise and fall..

i learned the sound of silence,
with you that's how it is....
i never knew love like now
it rhymes so pure within...

beyond my bounds
i was taught to love..
& beyond your bounds
you have loved me....

selfless with desire
romance and its fire
you freed me from
past and grief...

i owe you my smile
i owe you my strength...
i owe you all that's good in me..
divine the endless love you showered,
i owe the 'life' you got in me..