You Can't Be My Life!

Its our bond that strong
which keeps me close to you..
for not only we are friends
but much more..
And it kills me to not reciprocate
what you feel,even when i do
to leave my love so sore..

But there's a line i need to draw
at my hearts expense...
For years later i won't regret
keeping you away
but i will woe the betrayal
to my friend..

And since you have her
and i have him
What we felt is too late
And i know the affection can't be undone
and neither can our attachment..
But we can spare us the guilt of betrayal
for lifetime my dear friend..!!

In Love With My Best Friend

"You are my best friend and i love you too" she said with teary eyes.
He sat there quietly.
She looked at him and asked "When did it get so complicated? We both were sad right in our own world, dealing with it, helping each other to deal with it. Then from where did these feelings rush in?" she wept.
He took her hand in his and said "We always felt it right. Not that we never spoke about it or we never told each other that we did like each other even before we were best friends".
"Yeah, but its different now. We already have different stories to manage." she said.
"So who said i am expecting anything from you. It just happened. Now will you let go." he said looking into her eyes.
She hugged him.
"Yeah, will it change our friendship?" she asked being in his arms.
"Yes, surely we are not friends anymore. But again lets not define it. Let it be our sweet little secret. Can you make this work? he said still hugging her.
"Yes, i will try. Our own small love story." she said.
"Will you let IT go now?" he asked for the second time.
"Hmm. Will you let ME go? she asked him in a tone so silent.
He looked deep in her eyes, paused a moment and said "Friend, i never will!!"

Haiku 3

I believe not because i fear you

but i have been in dreadful situations

and yet come out with a pure heart!

A Conversation 3

"Hey honey" he called out loud.
"honey? seriously that's what you gonna call me?" i asked.
"You are a big unhappy box, i can't think of any more names. Wait! How about 'cry baby'. I mean you have to cry on everything.  He mocked me.
I gave him the ugliest angriest look.
"How about Frown the Clown?" he asked.
"I sware to God one more name you come up with, i will i will kick you where it will hurt you the most" i said.
"Ohhh, well you won't have any kids then" he said.
"Kids? who said i will marry you. I have better things to do." was my reply.
"Hmm okay then. I thought its time to tell at our places but since you don't have marriage on your mind,leave it " he said.
That instant i had my eyes filled with tears.
"Seriously, you are gonna cry on this also" he laughed.
"Shut up" i said "Just tell me how are we gonna do it?"

 

Screw Ups

I wish i knew love as much as i claim to know it. I wish i knew exactly i want, whether i want you in my life, i don't want you in my life or i just wanna stay friends cause you are driving me crazy.  Its a simple complication with a simple solution and i don't get the fact that why are we complicating it to the ends. All i want is you to let me know you want me in your life and i will stay. But then why is it that you say if you find someone better than me 'leave'. If i had to leave i could have done that ages back but am hanging around for you to say 'please don't go' and you aren't. I don't want a perfect relationship. I love screw ups. I love you. What am i suppose to do? I can't leave cause i know you will realize 'its us together,always' someday on your convenience and i don't want to be gone. Its destiny for us to be together. I know it and i am waiting for you to know it.

haiku 2

I dance with you

for the joy you bring..

stay with me; my friends..!

Haiku..

I don't blame you..

it was my heart..

only if i wasn't so careless..

Tears, Not This Time!

This time i am not sorry

this time i don't want to look back on you
so well i know i don't value
and that well i don't want you to matter.

I haven't cried this time
and not a inch of grief i gripped.
I stand on the edge of hatred
holding back just one step.

Walked away enough
to uncover the truth love held.
The joy with no tags of your name
is silently making me blithe.

If i cross that one step
your existence gets wiped to eternity
and i keep my feet in,
to not awe our love
but to remind me of 
my flawed illusion...

You Bring Me To Peace!

I glanced at the sea
its a bliss, its a way to my inner peace
i could sit and stare at it
for moments long
see the sun drown
and the moon rise till the stars
be in numbers i can't count...

I wonder what makes you this mighty
the fierce waves
the depth of your soul
the burden you can keep inside
or the mortals who dwell on your essence...

I wet my feet 
and embrace you from long
cause i fear the closer i get to you
the more i will fall in love;
never to return and breathe..

From Love To Arrange: Part 2

She called up her few good friends to ask them what she should do and all held the same opinion "Better don't tell". She thought deep right from the day she got ready for this arrange marriage drama. Obviously it was better never to tell him. But somehow the decision couldn't settle,she pondered long enough. It must be their second or third meeting. She barely knew him, how open were his thoughts, how would he react if she told him the truth. In the end she convinced to shush her 'honest' self and to accept the easier way out of this.
                      They were sitting at this famous coffee place by a huge window where they could see everyone passing bye. With a few coffee sips and the nervous greetings they started their conversation. It went on from favorite movies to books to each others likes and dislikes. They shared their funny college incidents,the curriculum, the big small events that were a part of their life. After a moment of silence he asked "Ever been in a relationship?" and she froze.
            Arrange marriages are hard. You have to choose between people on the basis of few conversations having absolutely no idea exactly how much info to share, and what the other person might despise.
             "You didn't answer me" he nudged her. She thought of what her friends said "Better don't tell" but then she replied "Yes, four years". "What about it then?" he asked. "I don't know. It just didn't happen. Things were awfully different" she blurted out. Scared that she spoke too much she looked away. He smiled at her. "Relax" he spoke in a deep calm voice. "I just wanted to see if you could be honest enough. We all have our packages, don't we?. I am just glad you were brave enough. It ain't a big deal."
               She smiled back confused whether to feel proud that she could be honest to him or that he could be understanding enough to accept what is a big deal to hundred others.  

I Regret

"I regret" he said. "I regret that i was so careless.I regret that i never saw the pain i gave her. I regret that i didn't see the efforts she was taking to make our relationship work."
               "Till today i can't forgive myself cause i didn't call her back when she left. I thought i didn't need her to survive in life. I was right i never needed her to survive this life, but it had no meaning when she wasn't around to appreciate it." The last i remember her saying was "for once be there for me." All i had to do was to show her i loved her in all possible ways and get back her faith but i bluntly replied "If you have so many complaints about me,why do you even bother to stay."   "I regret" he said "I regret with all my heart i said those words. Those words made her not to bother to stay."  

'No' Was Her Reply!

They spoke occasionally to know how they were doing in their so called lives. With the distances increased in a year they canvassed their whereabouts just through phone calls.
                   To her surprise he said "Lets meet up. Next week i will come to your city. What say?".
She stayed quite for a second and replied "No. The distances are easier to deal with. It's good to know you are doing well where you are. Don't come here and make it more hard for me. Life has become easy since you moved away".
                 He couldn't believe what he heard and she couldn't believe she actually said it.   

Don't say 'It's Love'

She yelled at him "You had no rights putting me in this position. I was clear on my demands before i agreed to be in a relationship with you. Now don't tell me 'Us' cannot happen". She was furious,panting, a moment away from slapping him hard but she knew her boundaries. "I tried my best to convince them.They wont agree. Try and understand" He said. "Try and understand!! You understand mister" her voice still high "i have been with you for five whole years and you can't dismiss 'Us' cause your parents don't agree. Its your life dam it. Take your own decisions."

                   He moved back and forth figuring out a way to handle this. He couldn't keep both of them happy. Someone would be left broken hearted and either ways his heart was gonna be shredded to pieces.She was dismantled for no fault of her own. She had asked him,she had made it clear beforehand to him to date her only if he intends to marry her. He said he had the most amazing family and they will happily accept his choice. They dated,dating turned into love and love into a relationship. Now five years later suddenly this guy walks in saying his folks have a problem.

                  "Speak up" she screeched "decide something." Taking a deep breath he said "I am sorry.I love you still i gotta let you go. But please dear believe me when i say I love you.I really do" She stared at him,thinking deep. She wanted to cry not because she was loosing love but she loved someone so foolish and dependent and that in so many years she never saw this coming. "You don't love me" she said in a soft voice. "Yes i do" he replied instantly. "Then why is it so easy for you to let me go? Why aren't you fighting for me? Instead you are defending your parents. Why aren't you going out of your way to keep me in your life? Parents,jobs, careers are just excuses dear. If someone really wants to be with you, they will do whatever it takes to make you stay and you aren't doing anything."
                        " I tried" he said in a low tone. "You did i agree but not hard enough to claim that you ever loved me" saying this she stormed out.  

The Versatile Blogger Award

RULES

a. Thank the Person for nominating you for the award and provide a link back.

b. State 7 random facts about yourself.

c. Answer the questions asked by the tagger.

d. Generate 10 random questions for the bloggers you nominated.

e. Pass on the award and inform them.

First of all thank you very much Kiara for tagging me and passing on this amazing blog award. I'm super glad to have gotten this award from you because you've always been a fantastic blogger.

7 Random Facts About Myself
1) I love beaches and sunsets
2) i hate liars
3) i believe in hard work
4) smoking and drinking is a big turn off
5) i am in a profession i absolutely love
6) a dream to have a sea view house
7) loves simplicity 

Questions Asked By The Tagger

1. What is your favourite song?

ans. Iktara

2. What is your favourite time of the day?
ans. evening

3. What is your favourite book?
ans.can't be shortlisted

4. What is your favourite food?
ans. pani puri

5. What's your favourite drink?
ans. coffee

6. What do you like about yourself the most?
ans. never give up attitude

7. Is there anything you dislike about yourself?
ans. forgive people quiclky

8. If saving the world meant sacrificing your life, would you?

ans.yes

9. Is there any quotes you live by? If so, name them.

do what you wanna do,dream what you wanna dream,you get only one chance and one life to do it all.

10. Say something about me.
ans. you are a superb blogger and my favourite follower

10 Questions For The Bloggers I've Tagged4] What's your ambiance while writing?
5] Do you plan to publish a novel?
6] Do you like to make a gift for your loved one or do you rather buy?
7] Which is the most beautiful color according to you?
8] What’s your mantra in life?
9] Have you ever thought of becoming a soldier in your life?
10] Do you have stage fear?
11] ‘Mickey mouse/ Aladin/Duck Tales’ or ‘ Shin Chan/ Doraemon/ Kitrets

10 Bloggers I Tagged

IQ @ all her blogs (afterall this is being awarded for versatility)

Laylaa @ Beedi Basanti

IS @ Invisible Smoke

RehyaBond @ Ik Life. Ik Chance.

Blahblaholic @ Tales of her and by her

Rimly @ Journey

Sonshu @ The Sonshu

LMAC @ Innovation of Thoughts Changing our Lives

Ether @ All his blogs

Kiara @ http://a-shared-thought.blogspot.in/

Blue @ Blue Diary

Confused Soul @ A Walk Across The Bridge 

Congratulations to all those that I've tagged, I read you very often, and I know you deserve it!

And once again, thank you very much Kiara!

Distances Matter!

He stood there in front of her,smiling,hoping she would forgive him. She just stood there,eyes fixed on him, not knowing how to react. "Hi" he said from a distance and she stood mum. "Am here" he said coming close,unmoved she stayed wordless. He hugged her,smelled her hair whispered to her "Didn't forget me,did ya?". With those few words,being in his arms,her plans to not give away,be rude,angry just didn't seem to reach her face. At last she lost all her control and she cried. She cried till she choked,squeaked and her eyes swelled. She looked at him,made an attempt to speak,unable to she again hugged him and sobbed.
             It was after almost 6 months with minimum contact whatsoever that she actually saw his face .If the last time she knew it would be so long and so hard she would have never let him go. She still couldn't get hold on her tears. People passing by  watched them , but he didn't care. He knew he'd be kicked in nuts if he'd open his mouth but moreover he understood her pain,her tears. Wiping her tears he said "Enough now,am here.Lets go home". 

He said he'd buy me a..!!

He said "i'l buy the gown you
loved when we passed the street"
i said "i changed my mind, the color
is dull and it won't match my eyes"

He said "i'l buy you a merc
a convertible glowing yellow.
I said "i ain't much of a merc fan
red porche it is or let go"

He said "i'l get you a gold ring
to fit your soft fingers just fine".
I said "honey i ain't a gold digger,
nothing but a riviere of diamonds i prefer".

He stood in the corner with a face
so small..
said my wife is hardest to convince
beautiful but smart not at all...

I brought him to bed,went close and

whispered holding his collar tight,

"if you wanna try something new honey

just say,there's no need to bribe".

LOVE - does he?

He stood on the other side of road,
Comatose i watched him like a hawk
drowned in my deep thoughts
thinking "does he really love me?"

and you shook me with vigor
brought me to the surroundings
and said "stop staring at that fellow,
i am still alive"

i saw jealousy written all
over your face
and again into my deep thoughts i sank
thinking "yes he really does love me."

Too Selfish To Be Loved!

There are times i feel you
just can't see anything beyond your pain
you can't see me suffer
you can't see me holding our bits
despite your vain.

There are times when i feel you can't
think beyond yourself
and i be a fool trying to save
what's left of ourselves...

There are times you prove you
are too selfish to be loved..
too self served, too much of a snob.
I don't understand why i try to put up with you
hoping to be appreciated
and that too just for a day and not all..

Was i blind before or rather realizing
a bit too late
for you to love and take in my pain
is like expecting a retard to grow new brain! 

Priorities Today!

The glow had disappeared from her face, the smile was lost and her windy eyes were silent today. The pumped up, loud, careless traits ceased to exist. The lifelike radiance of her existence seemed to be withdrawn into something troublesome and weary.
           She sighed and continued "His cell phone on a sudden stopped working last month. You should have seen him then. He was angry, restless and he was not able to concentrate on anything until it was repaired and working well. He said he just couldn't do without it. Sarah its been a week! A week! we broke up and he hasn't checked upon me yet. I land up comparing myself with his cellphone and what gives me a shitty useless feeling is that His dead phone made him jump on his feet till it got repaired but not a dead relationship".      

My first blog award!

My First Blog Award- "The Leibster Award"

Wish I wake up to many such sweet mornings !!! I 'v been tagged and  honored by the sweet "The Leibster Award"  by the generous Anupam Patra whose great writings can be visited at http://anupampatracontemplates.blogspot.in

I want to thank him truly for finding me eligible for this award. I am new to blogging and its truly thrilling to receive my first award .

Thanks once again Anupam !!!

Now on the very first sight even I didnt knew what is this Leibster award and on little search I found that -The Liebster Award is given to upcoming bloggers with less than 200 followers.  Liebster is a German word and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.

Some rules are also there which come along with this award which are:

1. Each person must post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Answer 11 questions the tagger has given you and give 11 questions for the people you tagged.

3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.

4. Tell them you've tagged them.

5. Remember, no tag backs.

So here are some 11 random facts about me--

1. I  strongly believe in the existence of God. I wish to read all the mythological stuff if possible
2. I like playing synthesizer 
3. I  love writing poems
4. I wish to be an entrepreneur some day
5. I believe that angels exist
6. I love Photography
7. I love Photoshop
8. I hold esteemed respect for people having good hearts
9. I am a tea lover and can make amazing tea as well
10. I  love sleeping ;p

And Eleven questions that I have answered as asked by Anupam:-

1] 'Checkered blue n white' or 'black'?-- black

2] Curtains or no curtains?--curtains

3] Hardcover, paperback or ebooks?--hardcover

4] What's your ambiance while writing?---solitude

5] Do you plan to publish a novel?--not yet

6] Do you like to make a gift for your loved one or do you rather buy?--make one

7] Which is the most beautiful color according to you?--pink

8] What’s your mantra in life?--live and let live

9] Have you ever thought of becoming a soldier in your life?--no

10] Do you have stage fear?--yes

11] ‘Mickey mouse/ Aladin/Duck Tales’ or ‘ Shin Chan/ Doraemon/ Kitretsu’--  'Mickey mouse/ Aladin/Duck Tales

Questions that my further dear bloggers to whom I would be passing this award will need to answer are:

1) Your favourite color?

2) An adventurous weekend or a lazy sunday?

3) Bollywood or hollywood movies?

4) Do you believe in 'Old is Gold'?

5) Who is your idol?

6) Which is your dream city? 

7) Your philosophy in life?

8) Truth or dare?

9) According to you God would be like....

10) Introvert or an extrovert?

11) Day or Night?

heyyy!! thanks for  the honor. It makes you so proud to acknowledge the fact that people like and appreciate what you do. Following the rules here are 11 facts about me.
11 facts about sneha..
1) i love travelling.
2) i hate lies.
3) hoping to make this world a better place to live.

4) love meeting new people and knowing about them.
5) my favourite part of the day is sunset.

6) I love compliments.

7)  i like watching movies

8)i believe what goes around comes around.
9)i believe in karma.

10) secretly i know there is someone watching out for me.

11) i believe in keeping life simple.

Answering the 11 questions asked by neha..

1) Your favourite color? ans.. blue

2) An adventurous weekend or a lazy sunday?

3) Bollywood or hollywood movies?ans.. adventurous weekend

4) Do you believe in 'Old is Gold'?ans... nope.i think change is always good.

5) Who is your idol? ans..sadly never picked one

6) Which is your dream city? anyplace with a beach

7) Your philosophy in life?any ans.. good deeds never go unpaid,bad deeds never go unpunished.

8) Truth or dare?ans.. truth

9) According to you God would be like....ans.. a human form who watches out for me.

10) Introvert or an extrovert?ans.. always an extrovert

11) Day or Night? ans night.

my eleven questions.

1] 'Checkered blue n white' or 'black'?
2] Curtains or no curtains?
3] Hardcover, paperback or ebooks?
4] What's your ambiance while writing?
5] Do you plan to publish a novel?
6] Do you like to make a gift for your loved one or do you rather buy?
7] Which is the most beautiful color according to you?
8] What’s your mantra in life?
9] Have you ever thought of becoming a soldier in your life?
10] Do you have stage fear?
11] ‘Mickey mouse/ Aladin/Duck Tales’ or ‘ Shin Chan/ Doraemon/ Kitretsu’?

So now I shall be passing this award to some blogs which I like... well ..I am in process of preparing the list as the count is 11...and as of now I can think of only 6 (as I am new here). Will be informing each of them individually and very soon.

Thanks :)

Keep visiting..

Four lines!

It didn't make any sense at first
but now all the pieces join together
What i thought wasn't love
has become my soul forever....

Captivated,destroyed and spoiled
i sunk into your closed embrace
with a kiss that lasted a hundred years
with the rush the heart didn't explain..

If its lust to make me this crazy
i'd want nothing more...
If' its love to make me weak at knees
i'd promise to love till my lips go sore!

Is it worth the pain?

The light has faded
and I yield into the lightless dark

With the unsettled pensive thoughts
With the lunatic nightmares
my life i try to sort...

I question myself a thousand times
is all this worth the wait
is facing his cold talk everyday
worth the pain
but for the old times sake i convince
wait another day

hope is something driving me insane

I dig my face into the wet soft pillow
to scream and loud i cry
and i ask myself a zillion times
is this love you are living 

or just his Lie....?

Promises to keep!

A Promise you make
to be always there
if the world turns upside down
and to me no one is fair...
Can i expect you to come
when i call you,
or to see you walk away
like the rest?

When i will fall badly
and all my wounds are open
I will ask for help
and there comes no one..
When people say am no good
even when you know they Lie,
will you stand besides
me and stay,
or you will agree to
what they say?

If i loose my faith in destiny
and stray away from my path,
Will you be the guiding light?
Will you walk with me?
Till the darkness falls
till the anguish fades
and scared no more i be..


I never doubt what
you are dear
But this world
i don't trust enough..
For what i have searched
and found in you
I can't let you walk off..

Words never seem enough
to define the love i feel for you..
yet i know you understand
my voiceless words and
the trust i put in you..

Lets make a promise
to always be there
not just for one but
for each other..
'if one tries to break,
the other one tries to hold together'.

Never let these distances matter,
for me they hardly count..
You are just in my heart oh dear
and in you 'Me'
I have already found!     

Love Today!

Love today comes with priorities, it comes when people are in need, when people have no other important agenda in their life, when people are searching for a companion...
Love today comes with the right to leave when situation avails, when your families don't approve, when career and friends seem more important....
Love today comes with demands, comes with the money you earn, the car you drive, the gifts you can afford....
I have known love at its best and at its worst..
I have known love to come close and to see it wake away...
I have seen love change with time....
I thought of all the people who screwed my faith in love
you'd be the one to bring it back...
Yet again i had this sweet misunderstanding...
Love today comes with everything but 'Love'.  

A Truthful Lie

He said "They fill in the space don't they?".
she said "Who my friends! yeah they see to it that i don't feel lonely."
"Great! They take good care of you. Better than me" he said.
"Yeah they are great.Who needs anybody else?" she lied.

The Last night

They sat facing each other, eyes glued, hand in hand. It was four whole months the longest they had lived apart. After all the struggle,after all the drama they were finally facing each other. These were the four longest months of their life where things took a drastic turn, unexpected, absurd to the extent where nothing could go back to being normal again.
         He hugged her tight for long. She stayed quiet, motionless in his clasp. "We need to decide on a few things" she said. He knew where this was going. "Yes, i know" he replied back. "So now what?" she asked "You think our families will ever agree?". He couldn't even look into her eyes. The answer was too painful. She sensed it. She said " That's it then,ha?". "Yes" is all he could reply.
        She crawled back into his arms. The place where everything seemed alright, the place where no grief could ever come close. "Can you manage to stay over tonight?" he asked. "Yes" she said. She entered the kitchen to make him dinner. He stood there watching her do the chores. Months before she always cooked for him and he would never let her work. Today he stood in the corner quietly observing her. He knew he was her world. He knew she had dreamt about them being together for lifetime. He understood her pain.
       It was time for bed. She crawled back into his arms hearing close his heart go off beat. They didn't make out this time, there was no room for lust. He kissed her on her forehead and hugged her tight again. "Would you come for my marriage?" she asked him. "To see you standing there with someone else. No" he said. She slept in his arms and he watched her sleep. He didn't want to miss a moment with her cause he knew it was just these few hours where she was completely his, those few hours where he could travel back the time they spent, those few hours of the sense of her breath on his chest. He was far from thinking what life will be without her, for now he just wanted to hold on to her presence cause  it would be morning soon and he would have to see her walk out that door to never return back.
       

            

One Wish

I have one wish..
I wish i could take away all your pain ..
Just to see you the way you used to be
stupid,funny and yourself.
Its hard to see you suffer,
Its harder when you decide
to not make me a part of it,
Its hardest when i know i could be
everything you'd ever need
and yet you choose to be all alone.

Her Unexpected Mails!!

He logged into his old email account almost after an year shocked to see a few mails by her name. She was his ex. It had almost roughly been seven eight months they had separated and he was alright from the time they parted. It never seemed a big deal to him. It was his decision. He wanted the space,his life to him. He inadvertently told her what he felt. She accepted and they parted.
              She documented all her sentiments in those few mails,all that she felt,how she was not able to cope up with the current situation. She wrote him all the stuff she did in a day saying she just didn't have anyone else to tell. She knew he never used this old email of his. One of the lines she quoted was "Don't take my mails as an emotional drama am doing to make you realize or repent anything. Its just that this way i can feel a little close to you. Hoping you to never read these mails."
             His heart was racing. He opened her last mail. It said " Hey honey, writing you this last mail. I waited dear hoping you'd come and surprise me to say we need to get back. Everyday i stared out my window to see if you'd be standing there. Everyday i stepped out of my class hoping may be you'd come there instead. I know am just being an emotional fool but i never knew you'd care so less. I never thought you won't care to the extent of not even asking how am i doing. I can't explain you the pain and i can't explain you how the days and nights i have spent staring at the phone. All i wanted to know was i didn't waste my time on some one not worth loving. But you just proved it. I did. Trying to hate you all possible ways but somewhere i do love you. Goodbye!
                    He hurried to get his phone. He dialed her number to hear a voice saying she was not reachable. 

           

A Stranger yes! but was He ?

He was a complete stranger. Everyday I walked into the library and our eyes met, he smiled and I had to smile back. It was our routine for a month. We had our places fixed. My seat very close to the wall and his was a row behind me.
        We never spoke but once when he had a doubt regarding his subject. We were in the same profession just different branches. Both preparing for our respective exams. I won't say he was a charming young fellow. He was an ordinary student, ordinary looks, ordinary clothes but i can't explain why seeing him sitting there everyday made me happy as if i was around someone i knew.
       I never got to the point of asking his name. It wasn't necessary. Just a day before he came with a box of sweets saying he cleared his exams. I wished him congrats,shook hands and he left. He seemed a nice guy cause i knew he had no reason to come and tell me he passed. I was neither his friend nor i knew him the slightest. May be it was just to say goodbye, goodbye to the familiarity we felt in unknown surroundings, to say he won't be there to smile at me every morning. It was nice of him to let me know i won't find him there henceforth.
       Now when i enter the library it doesn't feel the same. Often i look at his empty seat. I miss him. I miss the familiar stranger.  

Not Worth My Words!

I want to write a million thoughts
but they are as vague as your commitment you see..
And i can't pen down what i exactly want
just the way your love is meant to be...
I try and try will all my heart
to write how small you make me feel...
All i can come up is with few hate words
and even they sum up 'praise' to be..

I want to curse you,i want to be enraged
I want to say lines i will forever regret..
Yet Again my words aren't enough
to an empty depthless pretentious soul i bet...

So i'd rather prefer to write my thoughts
with ink unseen
Like the impassivity of your absence
Like your presence unforeseen...

Till he realizes!

It had been days she hadn't heard from him. His silence was something she was not used to. She loved when he spoke. She loved when he teased her. She loved the way he consoled her when she got upset on his stupid jokes, which even he knew was to just get his attention. She loved the way he made her laugh. She could hear hours of his rubbish talk and argue on topics, in the end always convinced by his point of view. She adored him. She just loved him.
            He was the man for her. Someone she could spend the rest of her life with. Actually, she had planned the rest of her life only with him. She knew no one could ever take his place in her heart for she had not known anyone more right, more perfect to love her than him. She could sit hours doing nothing but thinking about the time they spent. Ah! that magical time. The time when her stars stood still. The time when time itself didn't matter. The most romantic era. Yes! An era. That's how significant, mesmerizing and dreamy it was. Every little moment fixed in her mind.
            She knew some day he'd realize what she felt for him. She knew someday he will come to embrace her with his charms. Deep within she knew this long distance can never change the bond they shared and he can never forget those magical times. She knew he is thinking about her all the time. Its just a matter of time, a small bump on the high road of their lifetime journey.  
             She now just has to wait,wait till he realizes she is his ultimate destiny. No matter how much he ran away from it one day he has to come back. She has to wait for the day when he has everything but love in his life. The moment when his position in society won't matter,the money won't matter,family and friends won't matter. Confronting him now won't help cause too much occupied by life at the moment he won't realize the truth. She had to wait, wait for the right time, for the right moment for him to realize that ultimately all paths of his life lead to 'Her'!  


       

           

Sometimes......

Sometimes i wish with just a blink of an eye i could erase all your memories.
Sometimes i wish the pain would dissolve forever with a glass of wine.
Sometimes i wish i could turn back time to walk away from you.
Sometimes i wish i could have learned to never bother with your thoughts.
Sometimes i wish i could make you matter no more to me.
Sometimes i wish i'd stop being miserable knowing you not near me.
Sometimes i wish i should have turned my back ages ago.
Sometimes i wish you knew the slightest of my pain.
Sometimes i wish i'd never had the heart to say 'Love you till the End'....

What a Friend has to Say!!

Me: Am so glad to have a good friend like you!
My friend: Am just trying to be a good friend because you are capable of really good things.
                 Don't like wasting time on things holding you back.

And that put a smile forever on my face.
P.S- Friends to the rescue!

Waiting for a call

I glance at the phone a hundred times
hoping you will call me.
& every time the phone rings
my heart sinks cause i don't
find your name on screen.
I wish i'd hide my phone
to never find it.
But then i think what if you call.
so near me 'the stupid thing' i keep.
I keep it close to my pillow
so if at night you'd call
i'd answer to just hear your 'hi'.
Every morning i wake up
to see no missed call,silently in the shower i go & cry.
What happened to those noisy nights
What happened to "can't sleep without
hearing your good night"
What happened to "hey dear,wake up"
What happened to "hey sweets are you alright".
I am still here,
and you have left to never return.
If you'd have to leave then
why the hell did you teach me to love.
I still stare blank at the screen,
Still hoping may be someday you will change.
Deep inside i know i need to delete
the inbox & contact with your name...!!

Her One Demand!!

She had spoken to the guy a few times. They shared their likes,their dislikes,their expectations,their views about how'd they want their future to be. Agreeing on most of the aspects they finally decided to meet. She a beautiful elegant smart girl. Her wavy short hair and ecstatic smile made her personality shine. Well educated,independent with a job,focused and straight in affairs she was the modern age Cleopatra. He on the other hand was funny,handsome, outgoing fellow returned India to get married. And she was his first choice.
            The venue was fixed,the menu decided,everything was ready. She dressed up in a saree, waited for him and his family with a lot of excitement and expectations. Her mom was on cloud nine. For her he was just perfect. Her daughter would go to America. She would boast about it to a thousand relatives. His salary was good. His family wealthy and rich. It just couldn't get better. She warned her daughter "you better be polite and answer properly to whatever they ask.don't act oversmart". "They are not even here,and you already on their side" her daughter scowled.
            The guys family got a warm welcome. The tradition of introduction done. All was going well. All questions answered. The snacks and drinks served. Few jokes cracked,few doubts cleared. It was all merry. In the end the guy said i like the girl. All the eyes turned to her waiting for an approval. She said "yes,there is just one thing though. I would like him to do a few blood test.HIV and few others" in a matter of seconds there was a pin drop silence. No one spoke. Almost everyone sat with their mouths wide open not knowing how to react. After a minute or so the guys mother stood up in anger. "What is this non sense!" she shouted "You called here to insult us.what kind of demand is this.We got to leave". She commanded and everyone stood up. Her mother looked at her in rage. Everyone had got up except the guy. He sat there looking at her face. Her expressions. She sat there confident not disturbed by the mess she created. There was no hint of  guilt. He knew she was not wrong. "I will do the tests"he said.
            She smiled. His mom still angry couldn't believe her ears. Well neither could the others. "You are educated mother. You would have supported your daughter on this" he said "She has the right to know if she has doubts. I am after all some random person to her returned from USA. If she is opting for few safe steps i don't see anything wrong in that."
           The whole speech that she had prepared of the reasons she was asking for the right thing was down the drains. Her heart bottled up with joy. He supported her. He supported the right thing. All she was aware of was that she had found her soul mate.