May be love isn't always winning,
May be love is those unexpressed feelings,
Those unsaid words and worries.
May be love is the distance we get
In between ourselves to defend our hearts
And hurries.
May be love is not always being together.
May be love is those wounded memories,
Silent remembrances, untimely tears.
Those hurtful jabs, and painful pangs.
May be love is not wedding rings, and vacations.
May be love is longing, loneliness and destruction.
May be love isn't always rosy and pink.
May be love is being black and grey.
May be love was in those snarky comments,
Silent hatred, broken promises.
May be love isn't always about living.
May be love is just about dying everyday..!
May be even In chaotic relationships,
love has its way
To ease into the mess....
People wanting to stay will stay,
Overcoming doubts, pushing further,
Holding out in destruction...
The only catch is 'Are you lucky
Enough to find such partners?
And if you are, are you smart enough
To know you got to keep them in your life?'
Everyone is messy,
It's just that you gotta find someone
Who finds that chaos beautiful..!
How do I describe this fleeting happiness?
The one that makes me realise,
Love can be stupid,
It can be irrational,
Even thriving in the distance,
I know this love can be delusional.
Something remotely idiotic,
Ringing the bells in my heart..!
Like the ones they had described in cheesy movies
And sappy songs..!
And I smile into nothing like a teenager
Hiding a huge crush..!
And my soul that was once dainted with anguish,
Is now all a mush..!
And I coo like a whipped moron
At everything you do,
I see myself paint your colours,
On a canvas, carrying strokes..
Permission granted to only a few..!
And the bells are ringing,
And birds are singing,
And its Christmas every day,
As I break the shells of sorrow
To bask in my utter craziness.
Love strikes a cord,
And you make my melodies,
As I die with happiness your
Shine gets,
And like a love-struck chaos,
Skipping In oceans of happiness
I call you my sun every day and again..!
Everytime my heart searches out,
I realise he is million miles away,
Basked in all glory, basked in all fame.
Soaked in an ocean of altogether
different existence..
And I am here breathing almost as an alien.
Hasn't hurted yet, won't hurt in a million years.
So this is how the untouchables felt.
Galaxies were meant to be adored
And lost in...!
But you wrap a universe of mini galaxies,
And I am lost in the lost..!
So awestruck, I'd be blind from the
Tiny little stars that shine....
In your smile...!
You are a storm, that stirs wounds
And stabs sanity till it bleeds all sore..!
Yet,
I'd close my eyes and give into your wrath
A zillion times today, tomorrow and more..!
If I'd close my eyes, and compare you to a melody...
You are the tune that riles unwanted tears,
Soft as they tease the heart,
A longing for the lonelier ones...
Comforting for the ones
who have already found home..
You get a melody that reminds me of oceans,
And unexpected monsoon showers..
Unstirred unstructured territories that
wash my feet till they shine crystal clear..
I don't know the keys,the high notes,
The abcd of what goes into making a melody..
But listening to you I atleast understand
They were made to understand magic,
Believe a religion denying logic..
The rationality kept aside of mundane days..!
So I close my eyes and I listen to the lyrics
And sink into your melody
To drown in a beauty only oceans
With untouched feet have felt..!
I had forgotten how I felt when I was near you.
But last night's dream reminded me of it.
Subconsciously I still miss you.
And so do you.
Or else why would you back hug me in my dream
And stare at me for hours.
I felt the rush.
I felt what I had forgotten.
I felt my heart give away a millionth time.
I saw you, you saw me.
May be we fight subconsciously to
Remember what we treasured the most.
I get to fall in love with you
Again and again
Even if it is just in my dream.
In the midst of chaos,
You are like an unwanted shower.
Drowning me in my own struggle.
The one I am not even sure
why am I having?
Not even sure who am I
Fighting with?
You are like that dark cloud.
Me silently waiting for it to turn into a storm.
But you just shed Grey.
Neither is there a lightening
Nor a thunder.
Disappointing as always.
I am not even sure with whom am I upset?
Is it You for letting me down?
Or me for letting you do it?
'Are you happy now?' He asked.
They saw each other after ages. Both overwhelmed with sadness yet not letting go of their ego. They had to show how perfectly fine they were in their ongoing lives. Yet seeing each other after so long made them weary. She looked beautiful as usual. Her popped up cheeks and a big smile. His silky hair and fair skin. They scanned each other to notice what changed in so many years. Few moments passed but it seemed forever; a contrast to their past where hours seemed like minutes. After a long awkward silence he asked again 'Are you happy?'
She thought hard on this question. Was she happy? This word happiness seemed so fickle. Her life was okay. The storms had quitened, her job was stable,she had a loving partner. But was she happy? She looked at him again. His charms still sending a shiver down her spine. She had missed him for a long time. That's what she wanted to say. 'I missed you. I missed this feeling of always being on my toes. Getting carried away and helplessly being captured by you every single day. Falling hard everytime knowing I'd ruin myself after you. Being hopelessly in love. I miss feeling this way' her thoughts screamed.
He asked for the third time 'Are you happy?' She smiled 'Yes, seeing you today like this unexpectedly. It made me happy'. That was not what he wanted to know. He craved for her long and hard. Not a day had passed initially where she didn't cross his mind. Her long brown tinged hair, rough long hands, her dangling earrings. He was seeing all of this after years and it just seemed so wrong standing there not holding her in his arms.
Panicking that their hidden truth will surface and show on their faces, they said their goodbyes. They walked fast not turning back afraid their old love will get into their present and ruin everything they had worked so hard for. They had indeed toiled every minute of every single day to keep themselves under check, restraining themselves from confessing how miserable they actually were. Years of locking up their insanity and behaving like adults is what they had promised themselves. So they ran again to a place they found themselves alone. She hid behind a wall and he hid behind a tree, gasping and panting and cursing. He cried that day for a long time. She had accepted this fact long back there was no getting over him this lifetime. So she let herself be. She stood silent staring at the dark sky, cause thats how she felt since the day they gave up on each other. Numb.
When lights fall out,
And you are alone foreseeing my thoughts.
Come, grasp my hand and touch my lips
As you see my nervous smile shining
Through the dark.
Let your breaths get heavy,
And your body cave in.
Whisper all you want to say,
Not an ounce be loud.
Hear me shaking,
And let our moans be the only sound.
Be gentle as you hold my face in
your hands,
touch your lips with mine.
Press onto me all so lightly
And ask if I am fine.
Search for the fingers and
Lock them tight.
Make my head spin
And swallow my pride.
Drag me to the wall
And look me in the eyes.
Stare with heavy breathing
And lust full sight.
Brush my hair side,
And wipe those sweat drops off my neck
Get me wrapped in
Those arms so wide.
Let me see you shed off
Your lazy shy self.
Let me feel your heart
Bouncing off your chest,
Yet Trying so hard to control
your struggling mind with
thoughts of intense fest.
Lets step into a war of
Romance, love and lust.
And drop the urge
we have been fighting
Everytime our eyes and heart struck..!
I saw you after ages in some random tag
And all the perseverance I had gathered,
I lost it in a moment and I went blank.
Out of all the people, I could throw away
Your existence kept knocking
And my heart sank.
Ages of trying to leave all behind
I walk four steps ahead but
I take one step back.
This heart, oh my poor heart.
Naive and soulful
Now so close to becoming a rock.
Cause I wear my cold side on my sleeve
And to so many I don't give a damn.
Thanks to you I learnt this.
To keep the ones
Who embrace my numb heart close.
Who wants to stay will stay,
no matter how
indecisive someone becomes.
But then even if they get tired
and decide to leave,
I know I will be alright.
Nothing gets to me now.
Neither anyone's presence nor their absence.
I defeated in me all the wars.
Thanks to you my dear!
I have become a stone.
And the credit is all yours.
