A paragraph

Her inner peace bedazzled me.  In the midst of chaos,  I saw her gazing into nothingness.  I fell in love with her calmness, her willingness to give into time as if it had no value.  If only she'd hold my hand and let me gather her emptiness. I would keep her to me.  The vastness of her smile,  I could die looking at it.  She represented purity, a soul so fresh and raw. She was beyond beautiful. Mesmerized I sat there meditating, trying to reach my soul,  holding it in my hand and offering it to her.  I gave her my soul; for I wanted what she had, she had herself.

Peace

May be for a fortnight
Peace come to my doorstep.
Give me a day where I feel
I am not indebted to anyone,
A day where I could be imperfect,
A day where I don't wear the mask
To please everyone.

May be for a night
Peace come to my doorstep.
Give me a night
Where I sleep with no burden
On my chest,
A night not contemplating
My doings- right or wrong.
A night of no dreams teasing
Me with my subconscious worries.

May be for a day
Peace come to my doorstep.
Give me a day when I can just
Blurt out my true anger.
A day where I don't ignore
Others stupidity.
A day when I prioritize myself.

Peace if you can here me
For once come into my life
And bless my mind with serene
And pleasant silence.
Bless me with no ties,
No expectations to prove,
No bonds to hold.

Peace don't come as death...
Just for once come as life....

Let Go

To live is to let go
and to let go is to learn to live without;
To adjust, To smile,
To find what has been lost,
To feel complete in the incomplete.

We manipulate emotions
We get used to the mediocre
because this mediocre is safe
No more to burn fingers in
chasing wild deep turmoil of emotions

What once felt cannot be felt again.
What once ruined your sanity
has made you a saint thereafter
You get past your insanity
and seek to find what was missing before.

But the before always haunts
The failures always prick.
The 'What If'' never seem to fade.
What did not happen this life time
You hope to connect in the next.

But there are only so many
'What If's' one can find answers too.
The rest you got to let go
and to let go is to live without.
Then there is no peace to the soul
cause at times what you let go
is life itself...!!!!!!!!!

Existence

Nothing  existed today
and everything existed all at once.
The deafening silence of the sea
questioned the noise in my life.
The hustle seemed of no value
when you stare at this vastness.
Who am I? What am I?
A minute from everything I spared,
and no answers came.
The waves so calm and calling
a thought comes,
Should I just surrender?

The clear starry sky
Never had I known so much peace.
Never knew the world could exist
this way.
The nothingness was like existence
and existence seemed nothing.
I was sad, sad that it took 28 years to realise
life could just be nothing
and nothing would be okay.
But I know this feeling would
just last for this moment,
and tomorrow existence will come in play
and nothingness will be gone
hoping to be found again..........

Random thoughts

The teary past now seems worthwhile.
Taught me to hold on tight to what makes you feel right.
To hold on to someone who doesn't want to let you go... Ever...

Random thoughts

For the first time in a very long time I feel safe.
So this is how it feels to know someone is always going to be there forever.
This is how it feels to be content at last.

Random thoughts

You are for me what he never was.

Random thoughts

I saw him 'your lookalike'.
Years later I still skipped a beat.

Random thoughts

I am scared of closing my eyes..
To wake up and realise
I am where I am not suppose to be.

The monsoon ...!!!

So distant and I can yet hear you whisper
I can feel you smile
And I can see your touch. 
The monsoon, oh! The monsoon
Makes me loose my normal.
And I drift to what I call a phase
'I am happy and yet not content'.
The rains remind the incomplete.
All I remember are the things
I couldn't have.

So now I call you a 'thing'.
Like the cold air my heart has gone
Cold for you.
And yet I know what you would have felt
If now you were here.
That's the thing about the monsoon,
About the lightening,
About the thunder,
It mimics what you feel inside.