I Can't Define Us

She says 'I am not talking to you. I wasn't going to. I hate me.'

He says 'Its better you hate yourself and love me.'

She says 'I don't love anyone'.

He says 'Make me an exception'.

She says 'You make me love you and then you forget you made me love you. And then again you become this person who makes me love you again. So you are there and then you aren't and then you are there again'.

He says 'I was, I am and i will always be there.'

She says 'Its been long time we spoke. Anything new with you.'

He says 'All old. Missed you a lot.'

She asks 'What are we? Together how do we define us.'

He says 'We can't, even you know that. Just trust me when i say I love you and i am there for you. I love you'.

She says 'Don't say you love me. You say it now and then again you forget to say it.'

He says 'Okay. I love you'.

Broken And Bruised!!

Broken, bruised and wounded,
I stare at those closed walls.
I scream to get help
but I get none at all.

I cry in silence
and I cry out loud
Nothing seems to end this pain
No one seems to hear my shout.

I confide in the wrong
Get hurt over and over again
Nothing to soothe the aching heart
No one to ease my pain.

I look at my wrist
And i look at the knife
And i think won't it be easy to end it all
Yet i can't, I got to stand up
I got to win this fight i lost.



 .

Choose Your Friends Carefully

"You are not helping. You are not helping" she yelled " You are my best friend and you are not helping." She walked around talking small footsteps, crying, wiping those tears, breathing in and crying again. She looked at him sitting quietly. She went near him and pulled away. "You. You of all the people in the world, you had to be such an ass. I have the world comforting me and you i don't find around". "I have my own problems" he replied.

          The anger just reached her head. She went red wondering what to say to this heartless friend of her's. "Yeah right, she not talking to you, she not licking your ass is your problem. She making you dance on your toes is your problem and Of course your family not supporting your love is a problem, which is not even a problem since they don't even know about it yet. Here I am alone. Broken up, left at the altar. Close to having a happy ending and then it being ripped off, shattered to pieces still listening to you complaining about your messed up life which by the way isn't messed up. You decide to give me a cold shoulder. You are my best friend. Do you know what that means. It means i rely on you for comfort, i rely that you will be available when i need you. So please think back and analyse were you there?.  When i was in pain were you there to comfort me? Did you call up once to just talk, anything. You were present few days and invisible later. Of all the people, you knew how much i depended on you and still you couldn't come out of your fake sadness and be there. I listened to everyone's problems when i didn't want to including you and you didn't notice how very difficult it was. So i loose my love and my best friend in an instant. It makes me sad that i trust wrong people. You were my best friend and now you are nothing but a big disappointment."

      

Be a Friend!!

You matter cause i let you
You talk cause i listen
You call cause i pick up
You care cause i make you.

So loving me is not a responsibility
And being there is not an obligation
Making me feel i am the one in need
is not what i had asked for

The deal was to be more than friends.
The deal was to just be present.
No questioning, no doubts,
no disappearing, no resent.

I don't love you.
I don't ask for commitment.
I don't want you to be the mistake.
Be a friend,
To be one stand up when it takes!!

Heart Of Gold

Your heart is pure gold.
It denies the existence
and finds peace in the dreams.
It cares with no beyond
to measures impossible that seems.
It loves with flawless emotions
like no one else can love other.
It survives the storm with a smile
every single one the life offers.

And yet he doesn't get
what a pure heart you have.
And yet he stabs it every time,
with a laugh you accept it all.
You don't seem to see the one
who wants the heart of Gold
Look here, Look at me
Love me,
Love the one who wants
the heart forever to Hold.

I Care Even If You Don't

I sit and i think what exactly happened to us? When and how did we drift so much apart? Where did the love disappear? I wonder a lot of things. I sit hours thinking what went wrong and i can't come to an explanation. I try and go through our mistakes, yours and mine together to blame our failure on either one of us but i can't. I just simply can't so i keep thinking.
                    Believe me i don't want to. I don't want to be this person who doesn't notice anything going around her. I don't want to be the person who despite having best of people around her ends up feeling alone just cause you moved away. I don't want to be this miserable. You know what i want to be, i want to be someone who believes in love, who believes good things can happen, who believes that every true love can have their Knight in shining armor. But you, your absence takes every thing away from me and you make me miserable. You make me believe that dreams don't come true. You make me believe that everything has to end no matter how pure or genuine it may be. You make me believe in defeat and sadly i have become that person. I have lost and i have nothing to look forward to. I have become that ordinary girl with a broken heart.
               I believed in you. I still do and i know you are destined to do great things. You don't realize your potential but i do. So when you decided to quit on me i didn't fight back. I didn't say anything. If i was  remotely the reason for your unhappiness i would step aside and i did. I stepped aside. Because that is how much i love you. I don't know if what you played was a game or if wasn't so real to you but for me you were everything, literally everything. Out of everyone i think we had a shot cause i believed in us and despite me trying to hold on to you so much,you let go. I believed in us and now my whole belief system is shaken to the extent i don't trust my decisions any more. So now when you forced me to live without you, i am doing it. I am surviving through it. There are times i want to call you and yell and get the frustration out on you, i have done this in the past i agree but not this time. This time i choose to be quiet cause yelling and being angry hurts more when you don't get the whole point of me being paranoid. I was just afraid to loose you and now am not. Now i think i can be alright. With time i will be alright.
              There are moments when i miss you. I miss our talks a lot.So every time when i see you online, liked somebody's post, commented on something, i know you are alive and hope you are doing fine. Alive is okay for me. I can be okay with just your presence some where. So be okay, safe and be happy. I will get through this i know. The thing is don't come back wanting me when i have moved on. I can't see you hurt and in pain. I wouldn't ever want me to be the reason for your tears not today not tomorrow.  

A Romantic encounter

She didn't sleep that night. She was too excited, too happy with hundreds of thoughts racing her mind. Her heart never thumped this loud and her stomach didn't seem to have so many butterflies before. He had captured her mind, nothing could shake off the nerves she got in his presence. He texted "Just twelve hours baby. Sleep well."
          It was a four hours journey to his place. She lied to world about her whereabouts. No one had to know. It was not supposed to be jinxed. She reached his place and knocked his door. He opened the door "Quick, get in. Before the neighbors see you here." She hurried in. He stood there chatting her up with the usual routine. She removed her sweater. She brushed her hair and he came close. His face right up to hers. His nose rubbing hers. He gave her that look, the look where he knew he possessed her, he knew that every inch of her heart echoed his name. She loved that look, she didn't have to prove him how much she loved him. He picked her up and pushed her against the wall. He gently tapped his lips on hers. He then went deep in her throat, caught her hand held it tight and pushed her to the wall more. She could barely breathe. Her thoughts disappeared. Her legs weekend. She completely leaned on him for more.  He stopped on a sudden, stared at her for two seconds,kissed her on her forehead. "Wasn't this your idea of a perfect kiss?" he asked. In too much of a high she just nodded. "I will make you a cup of coffee. You have the softest lips." he said and left. She stood there leaning on the wall trying to memorize the entire kiss as it happened. So perfect she still could feel him even moments after it was over.

He Isn't around

She puts no efforts

To look her best.

He isn't around to say 'Hey beautiful '!

If You Can't let Me Go

If you still think of me
even after hundred efforts to drive me out,
If you accept you misbehaved
and may be one apology mite get it sort,
If that heart of yours looses the rhythm
when someone takes my name,
If You know where to to find me,
If You know without me
that life of yours makes no sense.

If you can't stop missing me
and no one else can light up your face,
If my voice still rings those cords of love,
If you think one phone call can get me back to you,
If you think you still have to give me a hard time,
If your mind still
can't let go off my smile.

If you are trying to move on
and something pulls you back again,
If you try hard not to bother
and all attempts end in vain,
If you are tired of the battles
you fought to keep me out,
If you know you are a liar,
If you know i can still love you any way,
then take a stand and call me back
and say 'you are sorry'
Make a fight to get me besides you
and say ' give me your worries'

Once take our fight in your hands
and say that you need me
If you ever have a heart to come back
run,yell and shout to make me forgive.
Just for once stand up for me
Just for once don't let me stand alone..

She never seemed Sad

She wore the broadest smile
Mesmerizing like morning sunshine.
She glowed in the darkest rooms
Beauty like night twilight.
She never  seemed sad
And they said she had a heart of stone.

She fought her pain
with silent tears.
She lived and laughed
to get through the day.
She never seemed sad
And they Said she had a heart of stone.

Her friends gossiped
How could she be so fine.
They said may be she didn't
Feel at all.
She never seemed sad
And they said she had a heart of stone.

None saw the pain she hid
With her smile.
None saw the pillow wet every night.
None saw the turmoil
Burning up her soul.
None saw the silent tears
She wiped in the dark alone.
She never seemed sad
And they said she had a heart of stone.