i miss you!!

i can never put in words
how much you mean to me...
baby being alone right now
is making me miss you,don't you see....

i lay idle staring at the dark blue sky
and i miss those strong arms curled around
baby i am alone right now
and loneliness is not good to sound....

baby i miss those silent kisses
you stole every night..
i miss those cozy curls
waking up,you by my sight...........

they say distance makes love sustain
yet somewhere it gives a lot of pain...
but what is love without distance i say
baby i miss you a lot
when alone on a starry night i lay!!!

a silent night

Around midnight under the bed of twinkling stars we were there on the beach....empty and lonely as the place was, we just the two of us crowded it.. the cold sand drifted as we trailed along silently... i didn't know whom was i listening to; your silence or the sea...
                 we were imposters,hiding behind the cloak of friendship... i was wondering when will we shake it off and accept the truth.. the truth that there were feelings storming every time we stepped close.. the truth that we knew each  other too well.. the truth that we were in love..... the truth that we just had to admit...
                 for the first time we had nothing to talk..or may be we were just busy fighting the feelings.. hoping we shouldn't  make a fool out of ourselves.. cause once the line of friendship was crossed there was no turning back....
                i glanced at the sea... hoping she would answer.. i know it does sound stupid but it just seemed appropriate then.. the waves gently touching my feet... i looked at him... doing my maths.. what was he thinking.. he looked at me and smiled.. ah! that killing smile... i felt my feet burn..i felt myself getting restless... i smiled back awkwardly
               we walked,stopped,looked at each other,smiled.. and again we walked...  the breeze as ruthlessly cold as it was got us closer... the moon did seem interested... the clouds kept covering his sight.. and then i felt you come closer.. my stomach clinched.. i felt your hands move down mine... it seemed i would faint.. the sea didn't seem silent now... suddenly i could hear all that i had ignored all along.. i felt your cold fingers curled so tightly with mine...
              i was awestruck.. thinking how should i react.. was this really happening.. or again my inside, my head was delusional...the moment was incestuous.. i didn't want it to pass by.. i had to make a move... i had to show you my side of affection...
             i moved closer.. felt like my stomach might have just twisted inside... drifted my head on your shoulder with eyes clinched tight... hoping not to see your reaction.. hoping that's what you wanted... hoping that it wasn't a wrong move.....
             you abruptly stopped..we weren't walking anymore... i felt guilty.. i thought i just ruined it... i opened my eyes.... your face was horror struck..as if  i committed a crime... i was looking for a sign that it was alright.. a sign that it was just right.. a sign that i hadn't freaked you out....
             for a moment i thought i lost my world... i didn't notice my eyes were wet... felt like barging out from there... shaking you off and apologizing  for being so impulsive... i couldn't look into your eyes.. i screwed up...
             may be u just understood my thoughts..  the conflict.. the embarrassment... all i knew was the next moment you had your hands around me.. and i was silent,peacefully wrapped in your arms... everything again seemed shushed.. i heard your heart beats for the first time... and i felt as if i was the one making them beat so fast... you didn't have a slightest clue how good it made me feel inside.. or wait.. you knew!!
             we stood there looking at each other.. smiling.. the silence just seemed so perfect .. never wanting the words to ruin them... everything had fallen in place.. all the emotions right...
             and we walked... holding hands.. i was smiling.. couldn't keep it down.. and i wondered this is how love feels.... i again looked at the sea.. wondering what she might be thinking.. cause she just witnessed in few moments 'the journey from being friends to falling in love'...

if only...............

i wonder how would it be
if you would be with me..
if only i had stayed a little long
and if you hadn't screwed it all along..

i wonder if i would love you the same
even though you erased my name
what if i would have given you a second chance
and in you i might have seen a change


i think, i think and i think
was i too hasty to move on
what if our love did mean something
and to you i would  belong


if only you realized 'i was missing' a bit soon
if only you hadn't been such a goon
if only you had the courage you did lack
if only you had said once 'come back'

i go through the times with you i laughed
i go through the times you made me cry
i go through the times you behaved a jerk
& i go through the times you let me walk by


if only you had said 'you need me the most'
if only you had gone too far to prove me wrong
if only you had tried not to make sense
if only you would have used your heart and not your brains


believe me i would have happily stayed
believe me i would have let go all your mistakes
and we would be together for now and ever
only if that sorry hadn't come years late!!!!

love of my life

               In life You never choose love, love chooses you… coz whosoever you battle for, argue for, go on war for seldom realizes the struggle, and the guy standing besides you consoling your every tear unknowingly becomes  the one.. and you realize you were foolish to search world’s ends when he was just there besides you…
               You search, manipulate, decide, plan to fall in love.... to find your soulmate...and you bump into a person u never thought had the potential of being your partner.. and you are taken aback, taken by surprise...
               what you thought was just a passe, now makes a difference in your life.. and he knows you like nobody did, your every move, your every thought... you no longer can manipulate yourself in front of him.. you no longer can lie... you no longer can hide.. you no longer can escape....
               you start unfolding unknowingly.. opening your craziest and deepest thoughts… in your head you say ‘damn that was silly’ .. but he takes it well.. he laughs at you, he says ‘that was cute’ and you blush….nothing seems awkward.. nothing seems stupid…
               his nose gets red when you don’t pay attention, he will fight, blame it on you but then he will always call back….
                When he chooses you over his friends, and says ‘I couldn’t miss that’ and you stand staring at him coz you never thought you were his first choice…
               Every time you don’t respond you can feel the concern in his voice.. you no longer can hold back.. you no longer can stand the distance.. and you surrender to his love.. you surrender to his emotions… not because he loves you the way you want but he loves you in his own style, his childish little ways, and you fall in love………….
               Fall in love with those stupid filmy dialogues he says for you,  how every time he has an excuse to pull your leg, how every time he will laugh at your mistakes and hold you in his arms on seeing your long face and then laugh again… Only he has the power, the words to console,.. and his sight makes makes everything alright and you stand vulnerable in front of him, as he leaves you say to yourself ‘he is my man’     there it is ‘the love of your life’